Pimped Out John Sweepstakes

Cincinnati, Ohio — January 27, Thomas Crapper Day, 2007) — The average person spends 11,862 hours in the bathroom — which equals one year, four months and five days — in a lifetime. It's amazing the crapper, or as some say, "the toilet," has evolved so little since the Romans invented the latrine in 2500 B.C., with the most significant advance happening when Albert Giblin, an employee of Thomas Crapper, perfected an effective flush toilet in 1898. The days of emperors and queens have ended, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve your very own bathroom throne.
After all, what is a toilet? A private seat of power, a place to escape and experience a few stolen moments of pure solitude. It should be the most wonderful location in your home, but unfortunately, most toilets are bland and boring.
Fear not, boring toilet victims! Thanks to Roto-Rooter®, the ultimate toilet now exists. They've developed a customized, one-of-a-kind throne; a truly "Pimped out John," designed to fulfill all of your wildest bathroom dreams. But, you won't find it in stores. Only one lucky person will win this gleaming monument to personal convenience by entering Roto-Rooter's online "Pimped out John," sweepstakes. And, anyone can enter to win at www.rotorooter.com.
Pimped out John
Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out John" is outfitted with every feature a modern king or queen could want in a bathroom throne, and underneath all of the trappings, is a superb Kohler® toilet. This amazing commode is fully loaded with the following "luxury enhancements":

• Philips™ 20-inch LCD TV and Star Wars DVD
• Xbox™ 360 gaming system
• Philips™ DVD player
• Gateway® EMachine™ laptop computer with fully articulated robot arm
• iPod™ with stereo docking station equipped with toilet paper dispenser
• Roto-Rooter "emergency" button
• Tivo™ recorder
• Avanti™ refrigerator with beer tap, stocked with drinks and snacks
• Magazine rack and subscriptions to Sports Illustrated, ESPN and GQ
• Bike pedal exerciser
• Cup warmer / cooler

Are you tired of reading the same jokes in Reader's Digest? We suggest you watch "Star Wars" on your flat-screen TV instead; and chat with your buddies about the fight scenes using your robot-arm-mounted laptop. Bored with the standard crossword puzzle? Try donning your headset to play online multiplayer video games. Picture this: Your refrigerator and magazine rack are stocked with your favorite drinks and monthlies, your bike pedals are giving your quads a run for their money and you're downloading — and listening to — new music on your iPod. After all, if something goes awry, you can always turn to your big red "Roto-Rooter Emergency" button. You'll never want to leave your toilet ever again.
"The bathroom is the perfect place for your very own throne. It shouldn't always be regarded as the room of last resort," contends Steven Pollyea, Roto-Rooter vice president of marketing. "We hope that with the 'Pimped out John,' young people especially, will have a good laugh and think of Roto-Rooter when they need high quality plumbing and drain service."
And, Roto-Rooter technicians will even come to your home to install the Pimped out John! Visit http://www.rotorooter.com/john/index.php to register to win the "Pimped out John" from January 24, 2007, through April 2, 2007. The lucky winner will be crowned on National Plumber's Day, April 25, 2007.

You might never want to leave your bathroom again.