Top 20 Reason Why Dogs Don't Use Computers

20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

17) Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.

16) Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

15) Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

14) Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13) Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.

12) Not at all fooled by Chuck wagon Screen Saver.

11) Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.

10) Waiting for the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.

9) Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

8) 'Cause dogs aren't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...

7) Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.

6) SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5) SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!

4) Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3) Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.

2) Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

1) TrO{ HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,