Magic 8-ball Tackels the Tough Questions

by Kevin Surbaugh

A columnist in the Wall Street Journal has become known the last several years for getting predictions from a plastic ball made by Mattel Toys, other wise known as a Magic 8-ball.

So I thought I would ask the Magic 8-ball some questions myself. Since I don't own one myself at the moment I turned to the Magic 8-ball online.

The WSJ columnist asked:

Q: So what about the global economic collapse? You know, debt crises and recessions turning into currency crises and a depression. Everybody owing everyone, but no one with money to pay. Is that going to happen in 2012? A: "Cannot predict now." Q: Come on. This is the most important question. A: "Concentrate and ask again." Q: Are you just afraid I might panic or something? A: "Better not tell you now." - Wall Street Journal

I asked:
1. Q: Will unemployment numbers drop this year?
   A "My sources say no"
   
   Q: Will I go full-time with my blogging?
   A: "Maybe"
   
   Q: Will my wife and I adopt this year?
   A: "Maybe"
   Q: Will my wife and I buy a house this year?
   A: "definitely"
   Q: Will gas prices drop?
   A: "Maybe"
   Q: Will gas prices rise above $4/gallon?
   A: "My sources say no"
   Q: Will lawmakers finally put a stop to our runaway deficit spending?
   A: "Ask again later"
   Q: Will gold prices spike above $2,000 in 2012?
   A: "Outlook not so good"
   Q: Will the Dow Jones Industrial Average return to its highs above 14000?
   A: "No way"
   Q: Will my stock holdings soar?
   A: Maybe
   
   The WSJ columnist asked:
   

   Q: Can President Obama be re-elected in this mess?
   A: "It is decidedly so."
   Q: Really?
   A: "You may rely on it."
   Q: Because his challengers inspire even less confidence?
   A: "Without a doubt."
   - Wall Street Journal

   I asked:
   
   
2. Q: Will President Obama be re-elected this year?
   A: "Definitely"
   Q: That concerns me. Are you sure?
   A. "Absolutely"
   With that I turned the question.
   Q: Will Governor Perry be our next president?
   A: "No Way"
   Q: Well will he at least win the Republican nomination?
   A: "My sources say no"
   Q: What about Romney, will he be the President-elect this year?
   A: "Maybe"
   Q: So does the mean Romney will win the Republican nomination?
   A: "No way"
   Q: Okay, what about Rick Santorum?
   A: "Definitely"
   Q: Will Rick Santorum be the next President?
   A: "Ask again later"
   
   Finally, the WSJ columnist asked:
   

   Q: The Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012. Is it correct? A: "My sources say no." (I swear, if the 8-Ball is wrong about this, I'm taking it back to Wal-Mart.)
   - Wall Street Journal

   which I also asked:
   
3. Q: The Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012. Is it correct?
   A: "Yes"
   (Of course I don't believe that for a minute. God said in His Holy Word, that No one knows the day nor the hour. That includes the Mayans. So I will trust God and His word the Bible and not some Mayan calendar.)
   

Finally I asked one last series of questions. Again this one was back to the political line. I asked it who would win the Iowa Caucuses. The first two I asked about, Rick Perry and Mitt Romney, the Magic 8-ball said, "Ask again later." When I asked, will Rick Santorum win the Iowa Caucuses? The Magic 8-ball said, "Outlook not so good." So I asked one final question of it. will Ron Paul win the Iowa Caucuses? To this the Magic 8-ball responded, "Yes."

So does this thing know what it is talking about or not. If you ask me it is one confused little ball. Only time will tell if the Magic 8-ball was right about anything. For now, Happy New Year and enjoy the new year.

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